My First Triumph Over Fear

25, Mentor: Your teacher awaits you.

“The brave may not live forever, but the cautious don’t live at all.

-Ashley L.

Farmers who faced their fears to survive:

My elderly neighbor grew up on a dairy farm. He spoke of the harsh and dangerous work he and his family performed just to survive. From one year to the next they did not know if the family or the dairy herd would make it through the winter. He said that it was hard, “a hell of a way to live.” If they were to survive they had to face their fears.

We are designed to face fear.

In anticipation of a fearful event, we get cold feet, our heart races and our stomach is in knots. The Association for Psychological Science reported the conclusions of Professor Jeremy Jamieson of the University of Rochester, “The body is marshaling resources, pumping more blood to our major muscle groups and delivering more oxygen to our brains.”

Today, in our society, facing fears has become optional. We can simply exist; surely someone will have compassion on us for our basic needs. We can shirk our fears and allow them to slowly fester and poison our lives. If we choose to clear out that poison and advance in life, we can only do so by making a conscious choice.

I was once fearless.

One day, as a small child I grabbed an umbrella and prepared to jump off the roof. I was in search of the Mary Poppins effect as portrayed in a movie by the same name. I wasn’t really brave, just spontaneous. I didn’t think about danger and didn’t even have a plan. There was nothing to overcome except a danger that I didn’t think about. My experiment was cancelled by Mom. She was my mentor to get me through that one.

I then learned fear.

I watched my friends, cousins and my brother face the consequences of danger. By watching them, I learned that:

• Falling out of trees breaks children’s limbs.
• Looking up at a flock of birds with your mouth wide open can lead to lengthy spells of gagging and spitting.
• Throwing an ignited cherry bomb near someone’s face can cause serious eye injury.

Additionally:

• My eleven-year-old cousin drowned in a swimming pool.
• My brother fell off the back of the bleachers at a baseball game and needed stitches.
• I also watched my brother crack his head on a diving board. I can still see the images of the doctor’s needle piercing his skin to apply stitches.

I hid from my fear.

I stayed home from a school field trip to the pier, worried that I might fall into the ocean and die. I failed swim class several times, afraid to advance to deep water. When I was ten my brother pushed me off of a flotation device in the deep end of the pool to teach me that I would be OK. I immediately panicked. I threw a fit to cover my fear.

I chose a limited life.

Water activities were everywhere around me. The beach was a short drive away. Swimming pools were scattered about the neighborhood. My dad, my brother and my cousin swam competitively. My brother was the city-wide butterfly champion for Los Angeles Schools. I was proud of him, but… I remained in the bleachers.

I recognized my mentor.

By age fourteen I needed to do something. I felt like a failure. Per an oft quoted proverb, I the student was ready, and the teacher again appeared. The teacher was there all along, I just didn’t recognize him. My brother (the one with a scars) had had enough. I was an embarrassment to the family. He challenged me to learn to swim in just one session. The timing was perfect because I was ready for someone to tell me what I needed to hear. It was time for action.

I survived to live.

My brother taught me what I needed to do to survive in the deep water, then had me jump in. I took in a deep breath of air and a full dose of courage. Like the dairy farmer, to survive I had to perform. My heart rate skyrocketed; my stomach was in knots. But as the water rushed over me, suddenly I was free. Eight weeks later I qualified for the high school swim team.

Your teacher awaits.

We are designed to overcome. If you are truly ready, someone will appear to help. It may be one or more brief encounters or a full-on guide. A mentor may come in a form that you least expect. When you are ready to overcome any fear, be vigilant…

Triumph!

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” — Nelson Mandela